TheBakersfieldCalifornian.com

If you like a lap dance, the new Jam Events Center is right up your alley. Thursday night, I went to the first Bakersfield Jam game at their new facility on Norris Road. The seats (capacity is 450) are so close to the floor that if a player chases a ball out of bounds, you might be sharing your pretzel with a size 16.

"It's our one chance to be like Jack Nicholson," said spectator Don Kuhns, sitting with his wife, Jeannie, on the north end of the floor.

Interesting concept. Small arena. Huge ticket prices (close to $4,000 for 22 games, but that includes dinner, tickets to an NBA game, access to the Riviera Country Club, a pass to the fitness room and all kinds of freebies) in a bad economy.

Why not? Sometimes the counterintuitive thing works. In "Seinfeld," when George did the opposite, he got the job, the girl and respect from his friends.

I'm not sure I'd bet against Stan Ellis, one of the Jam partners along with David Higdon and Steve Chase. I don't know what Ellis is selling, but I'm buying.

Tickets to Mars, swamp land in Death Valley, the Bernie Madoff New York Tour.

I called Ellis before the game and by the end of the conversation, I was ready to invest in real estate, buy a season ticket to the Jam and attend one of the NBA run camps the Jam owners have planned between April and September.

I called a friend of mine who knows Ellis to make sure he wasn't all blue sky and no planet earth.

"Stan is one of the smartest guys you'll ever meet," he said. "He's a terrific businessman."

Ellis, Higdon, Chase and friends have owned the Jam for four years and up until now, it has hemorrhaged money. Rent at Rabobank has been between $7,000 and $10,000 a night and then include the Jam staff and that you have to pay the players (salaries range between $25,000 and $50,000) who apparently don't love the game enough to play for free.

"We saved $400,000 a year by building our own facility," Ellis said.

Ultimately, Ellis is not in business to save money (he owns a wastewater environmental company, a solar company, an equipment rental one and oil field service businesses).

"We can have NBA-run camps here," Ellis said. "Events that will eventually bring in between $700,000 and $1 million a year."

Camps are part of the plan. So are corporate events, dinners, the fitness center and an after-school program designed by ex-superintendent Larry Reider in conjunction with the Standard School District. Ellis is jazzed about the kids.

"This is one of the poorest neighborhoods in the country," Ellis said. "In February, we hope to bring in between 30 and 60 kids a day. We want to teach them about health, fitness, computers and gardening.

"If we didn't do anything else with the Jam, this would be worth it."

However, this is no day care center. Ellis and company spent $2 million on the new building. Already, they've sold 88 out 120 courtside seats, 10 of 14 executive suites and three of four luxury lofts.

They gave me the tour. For a steel building, it's pretty plush inside. The bathrooms have marble floors and counters, and the ladies' room is off the charts (11 toilets and six oval sinks) and we know how important that is.

The building is not finished nor was the indoor sprinkler system. Ellis had to hire three pumper trucks and the Kern County Fire Department for the evening just in case the basketball was so hot it burned the building down.

It's an interesting concept. Small, exclusive and the possibility of lap dances at any time.

"I like it," said Kuhns. "I'm just a small, slow white guy. Being this close makes me feel like I've been inserted into their world."

I left after the first quarter. The Jam were getting killed. Full of beer and barbecue from Champs deli, the 200 or so people who were there didn't seem to mind.