TheBakersfieldCalifornian.com

He has played more than 5,000 rounds of golf, shot his age 1,500 times, has nine holes in one, owns five sets of clubs and has won two world super senior championships.

Still, Lane Howell -- whose swing has been described as ballet and a work of art -- gets "frosted" if he misses a gimmee on 17 that he's buried a million times before.

"No matter how beautiful the day, how good the company, old man par will tug at your soul," Howell said.

Golfers. They're either suicidal or rapturous, depending on how many shots they blew.

Golfers, like farmers, think they could have done better even in a banner year. They tend not to remember their bumper crops but the time it rained during harvest and the almonds got drenched. One shot can ruin a round, a morning and a previously untroubled life.

Howell, 86, might have grown past a golfer's more murderous tendencies. He may have absorbed the serenity built into 110 acres of grass, mature trees and calm water. But a tamer Howell is still a competitive Howell.

"Although he is deaf, he has an eagle eye for the course and opponents," said longtime playing partner Ron Graffius, who is part of Howell's Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday games. "He likes to audit scorecards after the round is over."

Eagle eye and an even temper, with the exception of the time Howell threw a nine iron, an act of frustration that at least provided a point of reference for his daughter, Cindy Trueblood, also something of a perfectionist.

"About the same time, I was practicing for a piano recital and I became so frustrated that I tore my sheet music in half," Trueblood said. "When he came home, Mom sent him into my room.

"'What happened?' he asked.

"'I threw my nine iron,' I said.

"'Ah,' he said."

There is an agelessness to an older athlete. A glow. You see it in tennis players, golfers and anybody who still believes that with more concentration and practice, they can improve.

They wear the tennis sweater well, swing gracefully, and find joy in the companionship and repartee that athletics affords. Sport is where they go to forget that life is moving on, and they are moving with it, and to remember what it feels like to be a boy or girl again.

Howell has played on more than a thousand courses and can name the most beautiful one.

"The Pete Dye course at Casa de Campo in the Dominican Republic, called 'The Teeth of the Dog,'" Howell said. "It has six or so holes on the ocean, comparable to the best ocean holes in the Pebble Beach area."

Toughest hole?

"Gotta be Number 16 at Cypress Point."

Golf course architects, Howell said, usually design courses so that golfers can experience one memorable shot a round. Howell, like most, still takes pleasure in shots he hit maybe four decades ago.

When he lived in North Dakota years ago, Howell and his friends painted the golf balls black and played in the snow. He sheepishly admits to subscribing to five different golf magazine, including Golf Magazine, Golfweek and Golf Digest.

Willing to throw him under the bus should he answer poorly, I tested him: Would he rather shoot par or take Jody, his wife of 65 years, to Paris?

"I'd rather be in Paris with Jody than to break 80 again," Howell wisely answered.

But it's not just playing that he loves. Howell is an expert on all aspects of the game, having spent 21 years of volunteer work rating golf courses.

"A person has to be challenged by something entertaining," Howell said. "You might be tired, out of sorts, concerned about daily living. Step onto the Number 1 tee with good friends, get the game on, and for the next four hours, the troubling stuff is forgotten. You can be tired later."

Recently, his county card expired and Howell went to renew it. The assistant pro handed him his card and told him he was the oldest player to renew for 2012.

On his 86th birthday, he played with his son, Charles, his son-in-law, Mike, and Charles' grandson, 9-year-old, Sam. Four generations in one foursome.

Don't think he wasn't trying to spank the competition, because he was. Scorecards, no doubt, did not escape scrutiny.

Tuesday, he played Stockdale and shot an 81. If you think he was thrilled, you'd be half right, if it weren't for those balls that misbehaved.

"I missed some putts I should have made," he said. "But I made some I shouldn't have, so I guess it equals out."

It does and has.